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But I don't. I was born this way."
"Great," Stephen Thomas said, disgusted.
"I'm . . . never mind."
"Victoria and Satoshi and I went swimming this morning. We tried to make love
in the water. But we couldn't because it hurt her. It didn't with you. Why
not?"
Zev thought for a moment. "Maybe ordinary human men are bigger than diver
men?" he asked.
"I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours," Stephen Thomas muttered.
"What?"
Stephen Thomas shrugged. "Nothing. Forget it."
He strode angrily along the path beside the river. A ghost of pain grew behind
his pelvic bone, as if a knife
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were tickling him, teasing him with the threat of the fatal stab. He slowed
down and tried to stay calm, hoping to stave off the pain with caution. Zev
caught up to him.
"Can I look at you, Zev? I don't even know what I'm going to look like when
this is over."
"You'll look like Stephen Thomas, you won't look like me."
"I mean naked."
"You can look at me if you want. Can I look at you? I never saw-"
The pain hit Stephen Thomas. For no reason, and with too much warning, the
pain flamed through his pelvis, along his backbone.
He gave up. He sank to the path, drawing his knees to his chest and wrapping
himself in his arms. The hair stood out straight all over his body. He
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shivered, and groaned.
"Dammit, Zev, what's happening to me?"
Zev sat on his heels beside him, upset and helpless.
"I don't know."
"I wish you'd quit saying that!"
"I better call Victoria."
"No!" He grabbed Zev's arm. Moving made the pain shoot through him again;
his fingers clenched harder than he meant them to.
The young diver flinched but stayed where he was, balancing on his toes,
scared for Stephen Thomas but not scared of him. Stephen Thomas had the
feeling that Zev could break his hold in a second if he chose. He let 90.
" Please don't call Victoria, or Satoshi, or anybody. Just give me a minute."
"You'll feel better in the water. Can you stand up?"
"Yeah." The stabbing pain diminished to a throbbing ache. He stayed where he
was. "But I can't walk all the way to the other end of campus. Not right now."
"You don't have to. Come swim in the river."
"Is that all you ever-" Stephen Thomas heard himself complaining to Zev about
Zev's obsession with wa-
236 VONDA N. McINTYRE
ter the way Victoria complained to him about his being able to see auras.
It did not matter that he no longer saw them. Now he knew how Victoria felt,
Except that it would feel good to be in the water. A warm bath, a cold
swim-anything to ease the throbbing ache in the center of his pelvic girdle,
and the itch that was turning sore and hot.
He lurched to his feet. "Okay."
They tramped through a meadow of wildflowers, a carpet of color like the
pastel reflection of a rainbow. Stephen Thomas followed Zev down the riverbank
to a beach ol'small rounded rocks, designed to look waterworn, ancient. They
were of course no such thing. They were moon rock, reshaped and carefully
placed during Starfarer's construction.
The river curved, cutting into the stratified bank, exposing one of
Crimson's fossil beds. The water rippled and softly splashed. Downstream, the
channel narrowed; the river roughened and raced with a hollow roar.
Stephen Thomas took off his shirt, hesitated, and slipped out of his shorts.
He moved gingerly.
Zev watched him, worried that he might collapse again.
"Is it swollen?" he said, when he saw Stephen Thomas naked. "Does it hurt?"
"It isn't swollen. It's sore."
"Then I don't blame you for leaving it out." The river rocks rattled hollowly
as Zev crossed them. He tossed off' his clothes and picked his way over the
treacherous footing to the river. Stephen Thomas followed slowly.
Zev threw himself into the midstream current, let himself be carried fifty
meters through the rapids, then vanished beneath roiling white water.
"Zev!"
Upstream from the rapids, halfway back to Stephen Thomas, Zev reappeared.
He waved and beckoned.
It looked like fun, but Stephen Thomas lowered
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himself into the cold eddy near shore. Today, a sitz-bath was about his speed.
The water did feel good, easing the soreness, massaging away bits of dead
skin.
Zev splashed toward him.
Stephen Thomas got a close look at an adult male diver for the first time.
Struggling to stay calm, he patted the water. He slapped harder than he meant
to, sending an angry splash toward Zev.
"Sit down."
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"Does your penis hang out like that all the time?" Zev asked suddenly.
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