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A ball of misery welled up in his chest. Why hadn't she
come to him herself? When he thought of all the outrageous
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things she'd said in the past, he could find no excuse for her
behavior. She should have told him how she felt.
He could call her and explain or beg her to understand his
failure to tell her he loved her. He could beg her to take her
ring back and promise to marry him after all. But she
wouldn't unless he said those three little words that stuck in
his throat. How could he expect her to understand that he
hadn't said them because it hadn't felt right saying them to a
woman other than Harriet?
The words I love You rolled so easily off her tongue. How
could he expect her to understand his inability to say them
even though he felt them? How could he convince her he'd
loved her for weeks?
He lay on the bed, feeling overwhelmed with grief and
sorrow. "Oh, Lord, please help me!" he prayed. Then, without
conscious thought, he slipped out of bed, got down on his
knees, and prayed.
He prayed until his knees felt numb and words no longer
came. Then he continued kneeling before God, letting all the
hurt, anger, and pain that had built up in him since Harriet's
death flow out.
When it was done, he sprawled out on the floor, too
drained and weary to climb back into bed. He felt strangely
vitalized. He still didn't know what he was going to do about
Diana, but just for that night, he wasn't going to worry about
it anymore. He didn't need to. He'd thrown it all on God.
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"I know it's unfair and it's short notice, but I have to have
a few days off," Diana told Becki the next morning as they
had their morning tea.
She didn't look away as Becki studied her face. She was
pretty certain it was obvious she'd been crying most of the
night, and she knew Becki had noticed that she no longer
wore David's ring. "Do you want to talk about it, Di?"
She shook her head. "I know it's cowardly, but I can't face
Carolyn just yet. I don't know what to say to her. She'll
probably hate me."
"Don't worry. We'll manage. And don't worry about
Carolyn, either. Let that idiotic father of hers explain how he
screwed up."
"Becki! He's not an idiot!" she protested.
"Any man who's too stupid to tell the women he loves that
he does love her is a big-time idiot!"
"Did it ever occur to you that he doesn't love me?"
"No, that didn't occur to me."
"Why not?"
"I saw the way he looked at you when we were all at the
carnival."
"Some people would call that passion."
"Well, they'd be wrong," Becki insisted. "I know love when
I see it shining in an idiot's eyes."
"Becki!"
Becki slammed her cup down so hard her saucer rattled.
"For two cents, I'd call him and give him a "
"No! Just give me a few days to pull myself together."
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Becki nodded, squeezed her shoulder, and let herself out
of the apartment.
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"You are the biggest nut this side of the milky way!"
David narrowed his gaze and glared across his trailer office
at Mike. "Thanks for the support!"
"I'm going to give it to you straight. You're a fool. Harriet
is dead. You're alive. You and Carolyn have a right to have a
woman in your life that you both love." Mike frowned.
"Speaking of Carolyn, how's she taking this?"
"Better than I thought. My mother talked to her before I
could. I don't know what she told her, but Carolyn seems to
think that things are going to work out. She said she'd prayed
for me and Diana."
Mike nodded. "Never saw a man who needed it more.
What is so hard about telling her you love her? You just open
your mouth and say the words and your world's right side up
again."
He shook his head. "It won't be that easy. Maybe it would
have been if I'd done that as soon as I found out how she
felt, but now she's going to want me groveling at her feet."
Mike shrugged. "So? She wants groveling, give her
groveling. Unless you think she's not worth it."
"She's worth it," he said and suddenly knew that she was.
"Then what are you waiting for? Get out of here and go tell
her. I'll hold down the fort while you're gone."
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David sprang to his feet and bolted for the door. He drove
over to his mother's house straight from the site to ask her to
keep Carolyn for the weekend.
"I'd be delighted to. Oh, David, I was beginning to think
you were going to let her slip through your fingers and she's
just so exactly what both you and Carolyn need," she sobbed
into his shoulder.
"I know, Mom. I know. I'm going to do my best to make
up with Diana, but she might not be interested in me
anymore," he said in a bleak voice.
"Nonsense, dear. She'll be delighted to see you." She
wiped at her tears and looked anxiously into his face.
"Provided you're prepared to tell her what she needs to hear."
He nodded quickly and she smiled and hugged him. "Good.
Now go tell Diana you love her."
Armed with a dozen roses, he drove to Diana's apartment.
As he waited for her to answer the door, he felt warm and
happy at the prospect of seeing her again. He came crashing
back down to earth when a man came to the door. "Yeah?"
He stared at the tall, dark man facing him. "Ah ... I was
looking for Diana."
"She's in the shower."
She was in the shower while this man was in her
apartment? Who was he anyway? Less than a week ago she'd
been engaged to him, now she was showering with strange
men in her apartment?
A surge of jealousy sliced through him. How could she?
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