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with a pimple. She grinned like a fat shark. "I've just been shot full of
raging hormones."
"Good for you."
She batted her eyes. "You know I'm rich."
"You're worth less than a billion. I charge two."
"I like rough sex."
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"Why didn't you say so?" said Remo, closing the door behind him.
Roxanne scooted around to a sitting position. "Hah! My last husband was just
like you. Not as skinny, though." She took her chewing gum out of her petulant
mouth, tucking it behind her left ear. "What do you like? Body slamming?
Restraints? What?"
"I'd like to squeeze your neck with both hands"
"Oh, goody. Let's do it."
And Remo, using one hand he promised himself he'd wash later, reached under
the gumless ear, intending to squeeze the delicate nerve there that triggered
instant unconsciousness.
He squeezed. Roxanne squeezed her eyes shut. Remo squeezed harder. Feeling
around in the sweaty rolls of fat, he heard Roxanne's voice say, "This is the
best sex I never had. So far. Hope it gets better."
"It does," Remo promised, trying to find the nerve. The trouble was, he
couldn't find it or make it work. "Damn that Chiun."
"Who's Chiun?"
"You ever been a sumo?"
"No, but I wrestled one to a draw once. He was a wimp."
Remo stepped back. "Look, I have a confession to make."
Roxanne opened one disappointed eye. "What's that?"
"I'm a huge fan."
"Great. I get my best orgasms off people who think I'm my character."
"Maybe you can help me," Remo said.
"If you'll help me. I wanna have a baby."
"I don't do that kind of favor."
"No? So what do you want?"
"Your girdle."
"How'd you know I wear a freaking girdle?" Roxanne said, jerking to her feet.
Every square inch of her body jounced and jiggled like Jell-O in a pink leaf
sack. "Rumor."
"Well, I ain't giving up my girdle for anything less than sperm. And that's
final."
"Damn," said Reano, looking around the trailer. A thought occured to him.
"Where's your friend?"
"What friend?"
"The one you were talking to before I came in."
"Oh, her. That was no friend. Just that bitch alter of mine, Rachel."
"Alter?"
"Yeah, like alter ego? That's what my shrink says I should call my multiple
personalities. I've got thirty-six. Hey, maybe you'd like to pork one of them.
Now, take Rachael. She's twelve years younger and 140 pounds lighter than me.
But she's not very big in the hygiene department. If you catch my drift."
"Do you have a timid alter?" Remo wondered.
"Timid?"
"You know, shy."
"Well, there's Mandy. She's very mousy."
"I'd like to meet Mandy. The mousy type attracts me."
Roxanne shrugged. "Well, if you get one of us pregnant, I guess we'll all be
pregnant. But I gotta warn you. Mandy is a virgin. You be gentle with her, or
I'll briss you with my teeth-if you catch my drift."
"I promise."
And Roxanne closed her eyes. Her round face turned placid. Then, like waves
rippling across the ocean, her features began to waver and change. They grew
slack. A little drool trickled from one corner of her red mouth. When her eyes
opened, the voice coming out was tiny. "Hello, I'm Mandy."
"Quick," Remo said urgently. "Where's she keep her girdle?"
"Bottom drawer. But don't tell Rox I told you!"
"Promise," said Remo, going to the bottom drawer. He almost missed the girdle.
It was made of black vinyl and went all the way up to the silver-tasseled
breast cups. All it needed was a skull and crossbones painted on it and it
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could have adorned a pirate ship. "Thanks," said Remo, starting for the door.
"Aren't you going to make love to me?"
"Next life."
"Rats," said Mandy in a pouty voice as Remo shut the door behind him.
THE MASTER OF SINANJU was waiting for Remo outside the main gate on Lankershim
Boulevard. "Here," said Remo.
Wrinkling up his nose, Chiun took the girdle in two fingers. "It smells."
"It's the girdle of the amazon queen, Roxanne. Address any complaints to
her."
"She fought desperately to retain it?"
"Tooth and nail."
"And you vanquished her?"
"She was begging for mercy when I left."
"You have done well," said Chiun, holding the girdle this way and that.
"What are you going to do with that?"
"The girdle of the amazons is supposed to confer great strength upon the
wearer."
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